“Walk and Talk” off the Beaten Track.

For most of us, our lives are hectic and busy. It even seems at times, to be getting busier. The current economic climate is challenging. There is great uncertainty about, generally. We seem to have to do more with less. Others seem to be increasingly demanding of us. They appear to want more of us and our time. One day melts into another. We appear to be on auto-pilot a lot of the time. It is all about doing. It is all about problems. It is all about tasks and outcomes and results. This is the world that most of us, to varying degrees, if we care to be honest, inhabit. This is the world that we are challenged to perform in and to make a life for ourselves, and to make a living to provide for our families.
Because of how we can get sucked in to this ongoing story and because of how ready we can be to take the bait, over time this can have serious consequences for our health, for our relationships, for our well-being and indeed overall happiness and performance. At times some may feel resigned to this. Some may even feel stuck. Some may feel stressed, anxious or possibly overwhelmed with the demands of all this doing and all this responsibility. This is life at the coal face.
However, all of us not only at times take the bait and get sucked in; but strangely, we are very adept at adding layers of additional misery on to our current challenges. We are very good at jumping to conclusions and predicting the future negatively. We are very good at reading other people’s minds. Pain is a reality in life, but adding to it, is a choice which we sometimes, without much awareness, too readily make.
There are however better choices. There is value in taking time out to STOP. There is value in disputing and challenging some of the rules and beliefs and self-limiting assumptions we make about ourselves, others and the wider world.
“Walk and Talk” off the beaten track is a journey and a story in the making, much like the lives we lead. It is your story. It goes on. It has its challenges. It has some rough and some smooth. You don’t know what lies around the next bend. It has its ups and downs. It has its rests and its active stages. It has a goal. It has an interesting conversation to be explored. It has all of this but it requires the first step!
This unique journey and story can engage you at many levels. It can engage you at the physical level of your senses. It can engage you at the emotional level of your moods and feelings and how you are dealing with the challenge. It can engage you at the psychological level of your thinking and how you perceive the challenge. For some it even engages them at the spiritual level and the level of their own personal meaning.
In short it is an opportunity to STOP and reflect for a very short time and connect with your strengths and the positive energy you possess. It is an opportunity to see what a balanced approach to your unique life and work might mean. It is an opportunity to get some feedback at all the levels mentioned and where appropriate to learn a better way for you. It is an opportunity to have a conversation with yourself and others. It is an opportunity to take a break and enjoy yourself in a special way off the beaten track There are different ways of viewing things and better ways of doing things. All that it requires is the first step…….
Contact: Hugh O’Donovan and Associates.
http://www.hoda.ie

Health Coaching, Well-Being and A Working Model up scuttled.

For the last number of years, I have looked upon my life very much as an interesting and fascinating ongoing experiment.  The psychology (how the mind works) of my own performance, good, bad and very often neutral has been at the centre of this curiousity.

While this for the most part has been subjective, as a psychologist I tend to measure also and one particular aspect of personal interest was how I exercised and the relationship between exercise, food and body weight. I have kept count of calories burnt in exercise. I even have an app, (MyFitnessPal) to keep count.  I have kept a record of my weight for a long number of years now.

All of this has been based on a working model which I embraced from a very young age. It is the income / expenditure model.  I have never dieted.  From my army days, I have exercised very vigorously until relatively recently.  If I had exercised for eight hours on a mountain, then, I had earned whatever number of calories which went straight into the bank.  I could then use this credit in whatever manner of eating and drinking that I wished.

It should also be noted that never having dieted, I also never considered what I was eating except that I knew I would eat and enjoy almost everything, with perhaps the only exception being sheep’s tongues.  Food is such an important part of our lives and indeed mine that I went to the trouble of learning to prepare and cook some interesting foods and meals which I later cooked and served in my Restaurant.

I have always looked on food as another language which was of considerable benefit on my travels.   I have found myself in more kitchens around the world making friends through showing an interest in how other people prepare their food. The best human stories and the best understanding of the human condition can be found in kitchens. I later found out in my restaurant that one of the most demanding environments in terms of performance is to prepare food, to a very high standard, consistently, for paying customers. Try it someday and you will get a better practical understanding of your own performance.

But to return to exercise, food and body weight, the value of keeping a record and writing it down for later referral is that you can see trends and patterns. The compelling trend to be observed from my personal recorded data, was that despite maintaining a regime of vigorous exercise, my body weight was increasing on average about 14 pounds per decade to a high point on January 1^st of this year to 264lbs. (18stone 12lbs)    This was from a base line of 218lbs when I was playing competitive rugby at 25 years.

In order to become a good coach, it is I believe important to develop the capacity to self coach; that is to “walk the talk” as it were in awareness, of how you tend to explain your thinking, emotions, moods, behaviours and actions.  This is at the heart of your working model(s) of your world.

While I could observe the upward trajectory in body weight as described above, no amount of exercise seemed to have a beneficial impact. In fact, in April 2010, for the first time since I was an officer cadet all of 35 years ago, I prepared all my kit for a 5 day trek around the Dingle peninsula, covering 90 miles in 5 days, cooking and living out as I went and carrying all my equipment and provisions for the 5 days.  When I returned after burning all those calories, I had not lost one pound.  I was the same weight as when I had started.

Fast, forward to the early days of January this year and my eldest daughter arrived home to announce that, for her own reasons, she had paid a visit to weight watchers. She described something which was not a diet, which focused on enjoying your food, but which changed the emphasis and balance completely. It was not about necessarily giving up anything but rather eating mindfully.

Mindfulness is a subject close to my heart. The evidence emerging as to its beneficial application to many aspects of performance is increasing but I had never really understood its application to mindful eating.

What has this meant?   Well, it has meant that the insights of psychology sit well with mindful eating. You need to prime yourself positively. You need to make choices. You need to change and rearrange some of the unhelpful patterns of behaviour. You need to practice good habits.

In my own personal practical experiment this has meant (much) less mayonnaise.  In fact a jar bought at Christmas which would ordinarily last a week, is still in the fridge.  In cooking terms this new approach has meant less Marie Rose sauce or garlic mayo on the wedges and less mayonnaise on the sandwiches,  It has also meant (much) less butter, cheese, bread, potatoes, cream, oils, vinaigrettes and fried stuff.

In a (coaching) conversation with my daughter a few core things stuck. If it doesn’t have a mother and if you can’t pull it out of the ground then don’t eat it.  Fruit and vegetables of all sorts are zero heroes and provide the filling.  The strange thing is that I don’t feel hungry. It is also curious to report that I can now really taste and in a way which I didn’t for quite some time, enjoy the flavours, the textures and the lingering delights of all the food I now eat.

Finally, what has all of this meant in measurable, quantifiable terms? Since the first of January to this date, I have, without any drama, lost 23lbs.   This world is by no means perfect and there are times when the extra glass or two of wine or slice of cheese cannot be resisted but the working model has been up scuttled and replaced with one that is more likely to serve me well into the future. The experiment continues in curiousity and in thanks to my daughter who has coached me to a new working model and who is a better coach than she currently recognizes.  Thanks love!! We all need a good coach.

Coming to your senses in West Kerry or The Day of the Mindful Stick.

Every story and journey starts with a beginning.  This might be self evident but when you gather a group of strangers together for the first time, that beginning, in terms of the “Me” and the “Us”, can be very uncertain.      All interaction and group process is ultimately about a conversation and relationships.     It is at this point of tentative beginnings, that you realise, that there is no such thing as a self managing group.   The need for facilitation of some sort to begin the process of group development is obvious.  The need for leadership is also evident, if only to build trust at the level of the “Me” and “Us”.

On Saturday 22^nd May, a disparate group of individuals of unique experience and enormous potential gathered in the Community Hall, Castlegregory, in what can only be described as Costa Del weather.   They did so out of a curiousity to explore the concept of mindful walking and also the notion of what it really means to come to our senses.

The day long programme started with an introduction to the untapped power of that brain that we all possess.    In fact two brains were described.    One an intuitive Stone Age brain which works rapidly in response to perceived threat.  That brain protects us, along with adding richness to our experience.    At its most efficient, it is that gut feeling which points us in the direction of our passion and what works best for us. At its worst, it is an inner critic that can distort our thinking and limit our possibilities in so many negative ways.

The other is a logical, rational, analytical brain which given enough time, has wonderful powers, but which binds us to the notion of results and avoids the possibility of intuitive emergent outcomes.   Einstein once said “The rational mind is a faithful servant; the intuitive mind a sacred gift. The paradox of modern life is that we have begun to worship the servant and defile the divine”.   The tension that arises between both brains can lead us all into a vortex of continuous mindless doing.    When is enough enough?  The challenge is to find the balance. That is the balance of not only doing in a mindful way but also, paradoxically, on occasions doing nothing but “Being”.

Having completed part one of the programme and having nominated a “Taoiseach” for the day, the group was introduced to Timothy Sweeney from the Kalyana Centre for Mindfulness in Clohane.   I know that each one was moved in their own way by Timothy’s powerfully gentle way of “Being” (In the moment).   However for me, when he invited us to stand and experience the constant motion that we are, I really understood our individual energy and the power of paying attention in a mindful way.  It was certainly a challenge to maintain our physical balance but also perhaps to maintain balance at the level of our own thinking and emotions. He invited us to come to our senses and to take that understanding with us on our journey to Annauscaul.   I feel that we all did that at the level of our awareness but we had much to learn about what that meant where the “Me” and the “Us” intersect.

When walking the metaphor of the journey is powerful. We had a very well specified goal of reaching the South Pole Inn but that was really not the point.  It was about the journey. Could it be the same with all the other goals we set ourselves?   All the while our own personal style, temperament and even uncertainties intermingled with our responsibility to the group.  “Should I slow up the group to deal with my own issue?”  Why not take a different direction”?  Maybe we didn’t come here on our own terms really.

As mentioned previously, it is not about getting to the destination.   It is about what you can learn on the way.  Stopping to look how far we have come.   Stopping to rest when necessary.   Stopping to celebrate.  Stopping to be more aware of how connected we are.  There is no need to rush to closure. The end will come soon enough.

The really interesting thing is where does the “Me” (Self) end and where does the group (“Us”) begin. Psychology has much to say about social conformity and the secret life of groups but to what degree does the group limit individual potential and to what degree do we have to accept that?   All interesting questions but perhaps for another day.

On the journey through Maghnabo (Pasture of the cows) it is almost impossible not to connect to your senses.   It is also impossible not to understand how far we have come from the challenges of living in a famine village.  It is hard not to be impressed by the enormity of the glaciated valley of Maghnabo as you arrive at the headwall and there appears to be no way out. There is; up and more.

We made our way steadily out of the valley, gaining over one thousand feet in the process. It was a challenge but taking it “Poly Poly”, we arrived at our lunch stop.

The second part of the day saw the “Taoiseach” lead his group into the heart of the Dingle Peninsula. Three hundred and sixty degree vistas were truly breathtaking and inspiring.  In the moving conversation as we went, relationships were beginning to form in exchanges of interests, past experiences, challenges and success.  Having traversed the peninsula, a series of switchbacks saw us arrive at Lake Annauscaul where our transport was waiting to take us to the South Pole Inn.

The South Pole Inn is a veritable museum. It was also home to Tom Crean of Antarctic fame.  We chatted about the learning of the day in the context of personal change and some deeper insights into what Tom Crean knew only too well.  We are all leaders who can inspire ourselves and others. We can all make our contribution. We need that now perhaps more than ever.  In the challenge of the day, each member of the group changed in subtle and not so subtle ways.  But the fact remains, in understanding how the mind works and in coming to our senses in awareness and in a more mindful way, we can better tap into solutions and the unique positive energy and potential that we all have, in a more balanced and knowing way.    Who knows what might happen when you take that first step. You might actually arrive at your destination which in reality is very much unknown and unknowable, but in the excitement of the journey, which Morgan Freemen describes so well in “The Shawshank Redemption”.

It was a good day and after a gentle tap of the mindful stick, we scattered to continue our own individual, unique and exciting journeys.  Every story and journey also has an end. The “Me” and the “Us” were less uncertain, only because of the shared conversation and relationships built. That is really all we ever have.

“Come to your senses in West Kerry”. An Introduction to Mindful Walking.

A HODA sponsored 1 Day Event.

Dates/Time: Saturday 22^nd May 2010, 08:30 a.m. to 6.30 p.m.

Venue: Castlegregory / Clohane / Annauscaul.

For More information and to book contact:

Hugh O’Donovan.   hugh@hoda.ie or 087 6307662

Come to your senses in Kerry.

On occasions we do it instinctively. We smell and accept the sweetness of the rose. Only recently, I was leaving the house, when I was stopped in my tracks by the early morning fulsome singing of a lone thrush.  It was heartily developing the possibility of the new beginnings to be seen all about, at this time of the year.  A moment to savour. a moment of stunning beauty and simplicity.

However, in our frantic and often mindless rush to action and oftentimes, rush to closure, we may miss all of this as we pull up in front of the school to collect our beloved, in ,our 4 x 4 SUV’s which have never seen off road activity.    We may miss it when we felt the need to buy a €1200 pair of shoes which could keep a family of four going for one full year in Nepal.  We are quite simply, all of us to varying degrees mindless and unaware of the beauty that surrounds us but, also more importantly our own potential and our own responsibility.

The question really is, how do we come to our senses?  How do we become more mindful?    How do we become more confident?  How do we take full responsibility?  The answer lies in understanding the paradoxical message of mindfulness, in gaining a more complete understanding of CRAIC and finally, in taking a more solution focused approach to the journey.

While the insight to all this is here in this moment, West Kerry is where it can really come to life.  Watch this space for more details.

Mindful “Walk and Talk” in West Kerry. Summer 2010.

If you are interested in learning a little more about Mindfulness and Mindful Walking in a remote place (West Kerry), send on contact details to hugh@hoda.ie  and we will keep you on the mailing list.       Planning is currently at an early stage for a one day event in early summer.  Details to follow.  (Accomodation / Programme / Speakers etc)     Keep an eye on the blog at http://www.hoda.ie