As threat detectives we are at one and the same time both rational and irrational. We have emotions. In many instances of helplessness, suffering and anger where we do not have the ability or the willingness to take ownership of the perceived challenges we can use these emotions to manipulate other people in an effort to get them to respond more favourably to us.

Add to this the fatal human flaw of attributing deliberate intent to other people and explaining our own shortcomings based on situational factors, we can see how easy it is to give and to take offence.

A curious paradox of human emotion is that we have evolved to be both co-operative and empathetic on the one hand and contrary and vengeful on the other. This allows us both to make friends and also to ensure as Clint Eastwood once said in one of his spaghetti westerns with regard to those so called friends, “don’t pee on me and tell me it’s raining”.

Those threats we mentioned earlier go to the heart of maintaining our sense of self which is fundamentally constructed around respect (our perceived status), reciprocity (our perception of what is fair response to our actions and finally, reputation (with regard to our perceived qualities and personal values).   At the point where the urge to be co-operative and the desire for self interest and to maintain the integrity of the self meet is the point where conflict arises in terms of relationships. It takes a particular maturity and intelligence to hold that space in an emotionally intelligent way.

It can also be said that the more attached you are to your sense of self the more you are on the alert to identify potential threats. This for some people is a mindless and painful cycle and the antidote rests in getting more comfortable and at ease with fact (That which we assess as unchangeable), possibility (that which we assess as changeable), and uncertainty (That which we cannot confidently predict about the future).  There are many signs of taking offence. (Insecurity, avoidance, impatience, comparisons and competition, Demandingness, being stubborn to name a few readily identifiable examples)

I do hope that I haven’t offended anyone thus far but who is the only person responsible for your inner sense of self, well-being and emotional state?

If we take full responsibility for self, then the antidote to taking offence unnecessarily is mindfulness. Mindfulness facilitates learning as does acceptance, curiousity, patience, trust, non-striving and most difficult of all, letting go of the mindless cycle of toxic thinking, emotions and behaviour.

If we work on our psychological robustness and emotional fitness (Mindfulness) we will give ourselves the best chance of accepting feedback and not taking offence.

In taking a more mindful approach we can avoid attachment to the sense of self we are trying to protect.

The other and not insignificant benefit is that in not taking offence the evidence tells us that we will enjoy a longer, healthier, happier life of well-being full of mutually beneficial relationships and wonderful coaching conversations.

That’s why Coaching and Coaching Supervision is so important and necessary at this time. Good Coaches don’t take offence, they learn…Well hopefully most of the time…. We are only human but the choice is yours.

I am not a Mac owner but I have embraced my IPhone like a well worn book. It is a tool which enables your potential. It’s a tool which offers the possibility of non-conformity, to engage with the world in a different way of learning. It allows you to experiment and to build your own reality in ways undreamt of only a few decades ago.

I believe Steve Jobs vision and message goes beyond such tools as the Mac and IPod / IPhone/ IPad and we as coaches can take some learning from what Jobs set out to do with his ground breaking technology. That technology offered a certain freedom to do things differently. It allowed people to quote his slogan “To think differently” and indeed to have a different type of influence and a different type of conversation.

That different type of influence and that different type of conversation is at the heart of coaching which is about empowering people to become what they can and to have the type of influence which dispersed leadership is all about. It is about facilitating people to think for themselves.

Jobs while very private in his personal life also had an air of vulnerability and accessibility which appealed to people. He was famously known to answer customer emails personally. These are qualities which serve a coach well; who knows and understands who the expert is in any coaching conversation.

This air of vulnerability is somewhat paradoxical in terms of the robustness of any coaching conversation. It is important not to confuse vulnerability with an inability to have what I would characterize as real conversations where there is no hiding and where honesty and openness are the cornerstones of any move to empowerment. It is sometimes in challenge and indeed distress that the best learning can arise in a facilitated conversation where the coach him or herself has the experience and courage to stay with the process but always in the hope of a beneficial outcome. This is the irreverence I talk about where as Helen M. Luke said,

“We hurry through the so-called boring things

in order to attend to that which we deem more important, interesting.

Perhaps the final freedom (In the coaching conversation – my words) will be recognition that

everything in every moment is “essential” and that nothing at all is “important.”

For sure, it is only when we fully embrace the final uncertainty as Steve Jobs courageously did well before he encountered the reality and finality of it, that we can truly, in freedom, think for ourselves and write our own story whatever length it is. Steve Jobs certainly did that. Can we as coaches do that also for ourselves and those we work with?

Not that making things better is necessarily bad. This is a very human drive.   In emergencies it is a very natural response to move to make things better. Underlying this is the assumption of control. We need a sense of control.  We need to rebalance.     Also, when we see someone suffering or grieving we empathize. Our emotions are activated.  But to what degree do we need control over others? And even if we frame it at its’ most benign what type of positive influence can we exert over others? The answers to these questions have serious implications for the world of life and work and more specifically, management and leadership in the domains of work and life.

In specific contexts, the “make things better response” may be beneficial to varying degrees.  However, if you are trying to maintain or build a relationship, trying to make things better can be viewed very negatively by the person on the receiving end.  Resistance is an issue. It’s not that people are averse to change but rather that feeling of being made to change. From a coaching perspective, the challenge is how to have a sometimes difficult, even fierce conversation (as Susan Scott characterizes it) with friends, partners, co-workers or indeed at times our children?

In many respects before you can have this conversation you must first have it with yourself.  How much control do you need to feel secure in yourself? What type of influence do you wish to have? What type of relationships do you wish to have? As its’ most basic how do you deal with the uncertainty of a difficult conversation?   Do you avoid or do you approach?

If you make the courageous choice to approach, it is perhaps the degree to which you are mindfully aware of your own style that will define your potential impact and indeed your emotional wake.   From your experience to date, is that wake judgmental, impatient, or cynical and bored?  Is that wake distrusting, and attached to particular objects and ideas as to how the world should work for you and everyone else.   Is that wake a continuous struggle to achieve and succeed in ways that may be harmful to yourself and others?  These are all important questions not only in the context of others but also your well-being, welfare and happiness over time.

If you make the courageous choice to approach the difficult conversation, you should be aware of the bizarre ways we tend to sabotage ourselves to varying degrees.   Are you aware of how you tend to jump to conclusions, predict the future or blame?  These are just some of the examples of how we distort our world. At HODA (Enlightenment in Arabic) in one of our exercises we invite people to the Restaurant of Distortions. There are nineteen (19) dishes on the menu and we invite people to choose their own personal menu.  It is a fascinating exercise and for some people very revealing as to how they can gorge themselves on this particular menu in this particular restaurant.   Deciding on a better menu (a little diet maybe) for yourself can lead to greater psychological fitness and indeed greater resilience and better use of the powerful energy we all have.

In order to achieve this insight and awareness it is important to listen. We all know the people who hear but don’t listen. I know I hear you buddy, but………….  They tend to be the people who want to make things better the most.  They are really not listening but waiting for you to draw breath and get their own reality and world view back on the table. But, be honest we all tend to do this but some take it to undesirable levels.   If I was you I’d…… but you are not me. You should or you have to pull yourself together. Why? It’s my life. I’m the one suffering the very real loss and bereavement.

In effect if I want to create a positive wake, the challenge is how to keep the conversational space open so that we avoid resistance.  The challenge is also to keep the space open so that whatever might emerge, unfolds and in its own time.  In learning more about the coaching conversation and the psychology underpinning it, you may not fall into the trap of imposing your world view but rather potentially empowering your friend, your partner, your child, your co-worker or your reports. This is the stuff of real leadership and management bound by the glue of a coaching approach where and when necessary. Susan Scott in her book “Fierce Conversations” suggests that our lives succeed or fail one conversation at a time”. In learning more about and in mastering this fierce conversation you may redefine your emotional wake for the benefit of yourself and others.  Somewhat paradoxically you may also feel less of a need to make things better while in reality making things much better for yourself and those you share this wonderful journey with.

I consider myself very privileged to do the work that I do and to have challenging coaching conversations with a wide range of people, either individually or in groups.

The background to these conversations, is that we live in a very uncertain world where we are challenged on a daily basis.   Just look around you at the challenges we currently face.

There is also a reality that despite our exponential development in matters technological, we are sometimes disconnected from the conversation, relationships and the wisdom that is our individual and collective emotional intelligence.      In short we don’t communicate with people in a way that engages them positively or indeed sometimes, with ourselves in a way that motivates us to the maximum.   Think of the Inner Critic.

I look around and at times all I see is conflict, confrontation and competing interests.  The other side of that is the collective intelligence of collaboration, co-operation and the wisdom that can be more than the sum of the parts.

Those parts (real people to me) arrive at any proposed engagement (Learning Experience only) with an array of positive and negative values and beliefs about themselves and others and the world along with rules by which they live their lives.  Many of these beliefs and rules are formed in our developmental years. They are also formed from our prior experience and our current incorrect interpretations of people, problems and tasks.  Sometimes these rules and beliefs about ourselves and others do not serve us well.

In essence we all need to be more mindful, in order to balance the logical, rational, problem solving abilities (Task Outcomes) of the rational safekeeping self of our Left Brain with the creativity, curiousity and coaching skills of the feeling, experimental self of our Right Brain  (Relationship Outcomes)      If we are to function better individually, interpersonally and in groups, we need to develop greater balance in terms of the Emotional Intelligence that is also an integral part of the greater collective intelligence and wisdom of the group.   The evidence points to potential improvements in personal performance, better in-group balance and relationships and less stress in what is a very uncertain world.

Our programmes as HODA are really a tailor made, context specific exploration of what it might mean to achieve that balance. (Awareness)     In our interventions we find that, for some the penny may have already dropped, for others it may drop as a result of our intervention and for others it may never drop based on the rigid beliefs and rules mentioned above. Our work is always to give people choices. The Leader / Manager’s work is to do the same and then make the hard choices to keep the group performing to its optimum at any given point in time.  The conversation continues.

The Irish people voted for change but will they get it? We will have to wait and see. However, if past performance is the only valid predictor of future performance then we may be disappointed.

Notwithstanding there does appear to be the signs of an ideological / policy driven approach emerging from an increasingly canny electorate.  The so called traditional party of government, Fianna Fail (FF) is decimated, routed and some would say unlikely to reemerge for quite a number of political generations.

The electorate with some significant reservations has given Fine Gael (FG) the greater percentage of their vote but not enough to give them an overall majority in the next Dail.  Labour (Lab) has performed well and appears likely to form a coalition with FG.  The opposition is likely to be rainbow in colour with a drastically reduced FF along with an emergent Sinn Fein (SF) and a motley crew of Independent’s filling the opposition benches.

What does all this mean? Well, it appears that while changing the Irish landscape such as it has remained since the Civil War in the 20’s, the electorate is hedging its bets by plumbing for FG and Lab.  They are not quite ready for clearly defined ideological perspectives as we would know them in other countries.  Back to the future but for how long.

This indeed raises an interesting question for the future which I was anxious to explore myself during the lead in to the election. I drew up a very basic political spectrum questionnaire in which I asked candidates or representatives of candidates to identify where exactly they resided on the spectrum.   It was simply a scale of 1 to 10, Left to right, circle a number.  The following note was included on the questionnaire.

***Note: As a counter balance to the rhetoric and promises of politicians and political speak in general, this political spectrum questionnaire is a simple exercise. Please circle the number that best describes your position on the political spectrum.

As a humorous aside, one canvasser for an independent candidate who shall remain nameless, when asked by my wife where he considered his man resided on the political spectrum, from left to right, answered, “No girl, he’s a catholic”. Some humour is always good even on the edge of chaos as we are currently in this country.

One note of concern, despite general protestations of politicians that we must be open and transparent and that we must build trust, was the fact that a number of candidates were unwilling to position themselves on the spectrum.    Jerry Buttimer (FG) the only candidate in Cork South Central, who actually came in person to my door to canvass my vote, was unwilling to indicate his ideological perspective on this questionnaire.    In fact his reaction would not give one confidence that he is prepared to walk the walk but we will wait and see with focused interest.   Michael McGrath (FF) while he did call me on the phone to answer two specific questions I posed did not fill in the questionnaire either.

The electorate has hedged their bets, but there is one significant indicator of this emerging ideological divide in the performance of Sinn Fein (SF) who has over quadrupled their seats in the Dail. SF provides a far left view of the current situation and challenges we face.   Labour occupies the soft centre left but despite their current good showing, for how long.  It is my view that the electorate have deliberated but they wait in the long grass. They have shown FF no mercy.  That will continue, if this situation is not turned around and quickly. The Irish electorate has indicated a wish for change but also maybe one last chance for the old guard.

This story of rebirth is not a story of success or failure.  It is the story of life and growth. In fact, the notions of success and failure are psychologically constructed and indeed have the potential to imprison us, should we not be aware of their power.   If we are mindful enough to identify and grasp the essence of this, the only reality is not so called success or failure but rather the potential within us all, to create our individual and collective future here and now, in this present moment of action.

So what does that mean to you at the start of a New Year?  What new knowledge are you going to seek out this year? What new skills will you master? What new experiences will you enjoy and savour? How might your attitude change this year?

Having asked these questions, there is always the reality of the restraining forces at work in our lives.   There is for some the painful reality of not having a job.      For others the reality is bereavement and loss.     For still others there is the pain of vulnerability, lack of confidence and an inability to deal with uncertainty. There is much of that about.

Wherever you find yourself this New Year, whether being driven on in hope or indeed temporarily stuck in the dimness of the suns lowest point, take action, make a plan however fuzzy.    Share that plan and bring life to it.     Keep doing stuff to accumulate new knowledge, skills and experience because in so doing your attitude will invariable change and more often than not for the better.    This present moment of possibility is a very precious and uncertain one.    Go for it.    You will only get some feedback.    It is in that feedback that we all learn.      Let 2011 be a good year for learning.

By way of introduction, I am a former Army Officer, practicing currently as a Coaching / Work Psychologist and also Co-Director, along with my colleague Pat O’Leary, of The Higher Diploma in Coaching / Coaching Psychology in UCC. (Info Attached)

This morning, I received a tweet from another colleague of mine with a link to today’s Irish Times.   It referred to a reprint of your conferring speech in UCC yesterday.    I congratulate and thank you in equal measure.  You wonderfully, succinctly and most inspirationally and powerfully, captured the essence of how I currently feel, as a proud father and Irishman, with a reasonably well developed notion of service and what that might mean both at home and abroad.

Your words as I read them to my wife touched a very deep emotional recess in my being this morning.   I readily but not easily admit to being reduced to tears by those words at the breakfast table. (Not a pretty sight I might add)    I actually found it difficult to finish your speech.   This was because; our equally passionate and lovely daughter was mentioned for conferring in UCC yesterday.  She should have been there to hear your wonderful words, but she is currently away, fortunately by choice, in France, teaching for a year and as such was unable to attend her very special day.

Despite my own energy and passion, I sometimes feel impotent beyond describing, in my limited way, (blog) how I personally feel about the current situation. I don’t have your wordsmith words.   However, I do have a continuing passion for my teaching and how I might facilitate the delivery of change in a coaching context of conversation and relationships.

Next week, I will be in London, presenting some of the fruits of that passion at the 1^st International Congress of Coaching Psychology.  I will have the opportunity to present an adult learning format (really only a game) called “The Values Casino” which I have developed and which is best understood in the context of my own coaching model called CRAIC.   As such the game is really a challenge to our individual and group psychology and how we might understand the gaps in that psychology.  It also shines a light on that gap between what we might aspire to in terms of values and what we actually deliver in reality.  Such insight is an opportunity to have a further robust conversation around those gaps identified and any change for the better that might be identified.    I must admit, more in frustration than anything else, that, I would dearly love to invite some of our apparently unaccountable politicians for some CRAIC in THE VALUES CASINO.   Maybe and hopefully, at some time in the future.

Finally, I again thank you and I would like to extend an invitation to you, to join us as a group (Coaching / Coaching Psychology), at some time in the future that might work for you.  Our inaugural programme only started in UCC, in early October and runs for the next two years.   The cohort I mention is full of energy and potential and imagination and creativity.   Such magnificent resources would I believe benefit from your wisdom as a poet and indeed deeper consideration of the power of words, conversation and narrative from your point of view.    In the best traditions of learning and exchange we might also share from a coaching / coaching psychology / change process perspective, our understanding of these topics, which may not be altogether familiar to you. We look forward……………… in hope!

If you think this might be possible, then please let me know,

Kind Regards and a very peaceful and simple Christmas to you and yours,

Yours sincerely,

Hugh O Donovan.

In response to;

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2010/1209/1224285097285.html

I spent 23 years of my life in the Defence Forces as an Army Officer.  I continue to be a small businessman and as a Registered Work/Coaching Psychologist I work with individuals, groups and organisations around performance issues.  I am passionate about my wonderful country.  I am also passionate about the work I do in my teaching and in my practice in the wider business context.

In 1992, as part of my military duties, I worked in Bosnia-Herzegovina with the EU, as that beautiful country came apart at the seams. That was while sleeveenism Balkan, style did its dirty work with calamitous consequences.  After nine months of travelling throughout the Balkans, I came home in the certain knowledge that without the rule of law and order and a police and defense force that we could depend on, we are at the mercy of forces which also, includes unscrupulous politicians who will squirm and wriggle to maintain their own power. There was no honesty, or openness or integrity in that country.  There was only sectional, partisan self interest at the heart of a stagnant pool of outdated, corrupted thinking and feeling and behaviour.

As a soldier, I understand what courage and honor and commitment is.  We don’t always have it individually as I know well personally but I do know who I could go into the trenches with when the going got tough.  The possibility of the sum of the parts then became more that just me and you.  It became us.  This is a different sort of courage which always comes before confidence.

In all of this learning, there is one overriding message which I have carried with me throughout my life thus far.   I have referred to it many times over the years.  That message was compliments of an inspirational Cadet Master in The Military College, who the night before we were commissioned told us that we had been trained and prepared for the challenges of an uncertain world and career, but and he said “you will face challenges which we haven’t prepared you for”. In conclusion that night, he said and notwithstanding, “When in doubt always do the right thing”.   That wisdom has guided me in success and failure but always in resilience.

From time to time on my blog I try to capture the essence and psychology of how the mind works both individually and collectively.  It is also an ongoing conversation on value based leadership and hopefully giving voice to values.  As a practitioner and a student, I have even gone to the extent of creating a coaching game which I call, “The Values Casino”.     Of late and increasingly in my teaching and work, I use it.    I invite you all to “The Values Casino” should you wish to visit at some stage.  The conversation there is by no means perfect but it is honest and robust.

Our Celtic culture placed importance above all around one core value and that is Cothram na Feine.  Without fairness to guide us we have nothing.  It is enshrined in Bunreacht na hEireann. (Cherish all our children equally)  It was enshrined in our training as Officer Cadets.    (Firm, Fair and Friendly)   That is why Irish soldiers are so well regarded and work so effectively in troubled spots around the world.

I ask, would any of us volunteer to put our shoulder to the wheel at this time of adversity?

• If our political leaders could take our current challenges as an opportunity to fundamentally change the system (political and otherwise) and the way we do things in this country. What does that mean to you the politicians and those that follow you?
• If our system was based on Fairness for all. What does that mean to you and those that you lead?
• If based on Fairness and for those you lead, you are prepared to answer the hard questions openly and honestly and transparently.  How can you take down your defenses and be open and honest and honourable with those that follow you?
• If Gombeenism and Sleeveenism were consigned to the pit of our shared history.
• If there was true accountability.
• If we were prepared to be proud of our Irishness, but also fully understand and embrace the concept that we are now Europeans with a major contribution to make to the finite system of resources that is the beautiful world we live in, however tenuously.

The answer may be yes to the extent that the current approach of half truths, poor communication and avoidance is just draining the energy out of the Irish people and replacing it with frustration, cynicism and pessimism.

As Irish, with our wit, creativity and intelligence, it should not be too difficult to model this country and its workings based on a population of 4.5 million and decide what needs to be prioritized and done.   Then cost the plan and get on with it.  Sure we have a large hill to climb, but this country will arise from the current cataclysmic fall from the so called grace that was the delusion of the “Celtic Pussycat”.  As we move forward, this country could be a shining beacon of real experiential learning on a grand scale societal level.       What could that mean to us all?

Things have gone badly wrong and we need to start afresh.  That means honestly and openly admitting that we got it badly wrong and then moving on to take the necessary learning on board.  It also means painting a picture of where we need to get to and what it will look like when we get there. Is it too much to ask of our political leaders to create a vision of the future. That is what natural leadership is about,

Le Gach dea Ghui and apologies for the somewhat drawn out missive from the Heart.

I was surprised recently, to discover that, at the time, in the late 1800’s, Ireland was the seventh richest country in the world.   It was the breadbasket of the British Empire.    Eight hundred years under the foreign yoke appears to have meant something more than just being downtrodden.  Something was working it appears.

The history of a nation is constructed out of the experience of a nation. The literature of a nation deconstructs that experience and makes it plain for us to understand.   John B Keane that magnificent Kerry wordsmith talked about “sleeveenism”, the art of leveraging the most out of the system for personal, partisan, local gain and self-interest.   Fintan O’Toole refers to the “slithery sleeveenism” of politics in this country.  Economy with the truth.   Cavalier deference to the values of honesty and integrity.  An unwillingness to really take full responsibility for ourselves, but rather slither around in the darkness of dishonesty.   There is no accountability in the depths of this dark place.   There is no accountability in this country it appears.  There also appears to be a strange lack of awareness which when considered alongside responsibility, clearly points to a national deficit in emotional intelligence and maturity.

From a psychological perspective is our sleeveen behaviour, a recurring pattern of a colonial mentality foisted upon us from Britain or Rome?  Perhaps so, but as Steve de Shazer said, “Lets mine the past for the ore of the solution not the detritus of the problem”.  Even in the depths of our current disappointment there is an opportunity. We can change.

We are a creative, inventive, intelligent, passionate people.   As a people we have made a contribution to this world, far and above our weight and power in global terms.   It has always appeared that we could do this away from home, in foreign lands, but at home we struggled under the weight of a bubbling national begrudgery around getting along and improving and doing well.   The sleeveen was accepted though.

When we were allowed unhindered access to the savings of Chinese workers, we gorged ourselves at that trough of cheap money.    There was no tomorrow.   The sleeveenism of our political and financial class only added to the mayhem as they scrambled to partake of this gluttony also.  They encouraged us from the trough that was the tent at the Galway races.  We could be like them.  But let’s be clear, that is no excuse for the fact that we got sucked in.   It is a reality and as with all reality we have choices and they very much revolve around what can we learn from the ore of the solution, not the detritus of the problem?   What can we learn from the experience? As psychology informs us, it is all too easy to fall into the other trap of personalisation and blame.

No. We as a country need to revisit our values because in the frantic sleeveenism and delusion of the last number of years we have become disconnected from our rich heritage and what is important.  Our behaviour has been like that of deprived children seeing plenty for the first time.

Last weekend, I spoke to a wise Kerry woman, who reintroduced me to a beautiful word. She again, put me in mind of John B Keane, who once mentioned that you could take a word for a walk and introduce that word to someone. Last Sunday morning in Athlone, she reintroduced me to the word cothram na feine .   It is a word I hadn’t met for a long time.

As I drove back to Cork, I mused about it and its significance in Irish history.   In either Irish or English it means fairness.   What does that mean to us today, as we swallow the bitter pill of engaging with the boys from Europe and as we hopefully have a fee urse (fierce) conversation around what is really important in this country?    What do we want to stand for as a country? Let the value of cothram na feine drive our deliberations to hopefully move to greater individual and collective maturity as a proud people at the heart of Europe, with something to contribute to the world.  A dash of honesty and integrity might not go astray either.

I joined the Irish Defence Forces as an Officer Cadet, on a late November Day in 1973. I was 17 years old.  Like all 17 year olds, I thought I knew it all and that I would live forever.  While I lacked a certain awareness, which only time can bring, I do consider that I had a mostly positive attitude, which was beneficial as we were put through the hoops, physically, intellectually, emotionally and psychologically.

In looking back now and in joining some of the dots which one can only do from that perspective, it was an immense learning experience which has stood me in good stead since.  We received a serious, solid training in matters organisational and leadership.   Sure it was based on the hierarchical model.    The Romans, didn’t decide that 10 was the team size which one person could handle with efficiency of communication and organisation, without good reason.   However, while there is a certain logic to hierarchy, one should always be prepared for chaos.

The tasks set were demanding, the feedback harsh on occasions, but it developed group cohesion and resilience where necessary amongst the band of brothers.   I for one would say that we received the best training that was possible at that time.  We were prepared for the challenges that might face us and indeed in difficult circumstances some of us did face life and death challenges on occasions.

However, on reflection and while I can instance aspects of training in a general sense, it is one moment in time which provided me with a take away for life which to this day, I continue to treasure in its ultimate ambiguity.    It is a take away very much rooted in the notion of service, which is a much disabused currency amongst our leaders at this time.

On the night before we were commissioned, we received a pep talk from the then Cadet Master, Colonel “Sam” Condon, a very commanding and inspiring, if somewhat aloof figure to us teenagers.  He reviewed our time in the Cadet School and our training. He highlighted the fact that he and the other instructors had done their best to prepare us for the challenges we would face. However, he went on to say that we would be challenged into the future in ways which we could not now anticipate.       He said and left us with this urging, “When in doubt, always do the right thing”.  It is a statement which can mean everything and nothing.   It is a statement which can be manipulated from self or sectional interest.    However, in the context of awareness, kindness and respect and dare I say it love, it lights up and brightly shines over and throughout all these years.

I have seen that kindness and service demonstrated by Irish troops at checkpoints in Lebanon where a smile and a gentle word diffuses potentially difficult situations.  It is also the case that even when these self same troops had to be firm it was always based on service growing out of integrity and honesty and respect. Even in doubt we will still do the right thing based on these principles.  That was the training we absorbed.

As I look back and with more ease, join the dots of my own learning which I am enthused to say continues, I am in constant debt to that take away for life.     Thank you Sam!